![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Did you hear more from Wrath? I managed to get her, but only with the little picture emoji messages. Text is me, the pictures are her:
Are you okay?
☠
⏳⏳⏳
I'm so glad I talked to White first, because this message would have been very alarming in a vacuum.
You are traveling to the dead and need time, correct?
👍
😨
😾👁🗨💢
⚠☣
What.
We ought to be careful because the thing will get angry if it sees?
Should we not discuss this amongst ourselves?
🗨✔
😾💢🧙♂️🦄
😾💢👁👑😍
🌧👅💢❓
⚖⁉
‼💥
🧙♂️💨
I can't tell if that meant 'your message was correct' or 'yes, you can talk.' Use the 🤐 if we shouldn't talk, 🗣 if we should.
In the unlikely event I understood all this correctly, I hope he's okay. And I hope you're all alright. Stay safe.
🗣
🤟
🦺🙏
Are you okay?
☠
⏳⏳⏳
I'm so glad I talked to White first, because this message would have been very alarming in a vacuum.
You are traveling to the dead and need time, correct?
👍
😨
😾👁🗨💢
⚠☣
What.
We ought to be careful because the thing will get angry if it sees?
Should we not discuss this amongst ourselves?
🗨✔
😾💢🧙♂️🦄
😾💢👁👑😍
🌧👅💢❓
⚖⁉
‼💥
🧙♂️💨
I can't tell if that meant 'your message was correct' or 'yes, you can talk.' Use the 🤐 if we shouldn't talk, 🗣 if we should.
In the unlikely event I understood all this correctly, I hope he's okay. And I hope you're all alright. Stay safe.
🗣
🤟
🦺🙏
She sent that last part to me too just now. I have no idea what it means.
Yes, I know. I figured this would happen when there was so much "Wrath is sympathetic to us, Lust is sympathetic to us" going around. We would all go ask those two identical and problematic questions, which is why I haven't talked to her at all.
[So that's probably healthy?]
[So that's probably healthy?]
Identical questions? Us? Not communicating? Preposterous.
Don't look at me. I had prior engagements. We've talked nearly every day, it would be stranger if I didn't.
[ my wrath privileges. ]
Hopefully the organization put forward will limit it, but we ought to keep it to one person per Avatar at most. Though - I don't think it will be too much longer, if they're successful.
Don't look at me. I had prior engagements. We've talked nearly every day, it would be stranger if I didn't.
[ my wrath privileges. ]
Hopefully the organization put forward will limit it, but we ought to keep it to one person per Avatar at most. Though - I don't think it will be too much longer, if they're successful.
I think we all ought to stop messaging her entirely for now. She's safe.
I wasn't suggesting not talking to her. Simply that I haven't spoken to her in the past week other than texts, and there would be too much I feel I would have to say, and at a point it no longer seemed wise.
I wasn't suggesting not talking to her. Simply that I haven't spoken to her in the past week other than texts, and there would be too much I feel I would have to say, and at a point it no longer seemed wise.
I'm not angry at her anymore.
One of our earliest conversations, she told me she wasn't sure she could be quite as ruthless as she thought she was going to have to be. I said at the time - then don't. You will regret trying to be something you aren't. And she said it wasn't so simple as that. . .
I understand her plight so entirely, but that is why it is also difficult. Because she would have known what I meant by that. That my experiences are not irrelevant to the question of whether it is acceptable to exchange the souls of a group of sacrifices for power, even if the exchange appears to be necessary for survival.
My mother and father killed themselves because this is exactly what they did, in order to ensure they had an heir; to ensure I was born. And the exchange was necessary to them, necessary to our survival, and for that reason they could live with it, until the day they couldn't justify it any longer.
So I understand all of it, and I cannot hate it or blame them for it, but if I must be party to it I don't think I can live with it, either. I have never been able to live with being two hundred corpses and I cannot bear any others. Unless we can fix it, I think I may have always been destined to die here, whether by someone else's hand or my own.
One of our earliest conversations, she told me she wasn't sure she could be quite as ruthless as she thought she was going to have to be. I said at the time - then don't. You will regret trying to be something you aren't. And she said it wasn't so simple as that. . .
I understand her plight so entirely, but that is why it is also difficult. Because she would have known what I meant by that. That my experiences are not irrelevant to the question of whether it is acceptable to exchange the souls of a group of sacrifices for power, even if the exchange appears to be necessary for survival.
My mother and father killed themselves because this is exactly what they did, in order to ensure they had an heir; to ensure I was born. And the exchange was necessary to them, necessary to our survival, and for that reason they could live with it, until the day they couldn't justify it any longer.
So I understand all of it, and I cannot hate it or blame them for it, but if I must be party to it I don't think I can live with it, either. I have never been able to live with being two hundred corpses and I cannot bear any others. Unless we can fix it, I think I may have always been destined to die here, whether by someone else's hand or my own.
[ there's a little while between the responses, here. ]
I see what you mean.
... I have wondered what the limitations and extents on these wishes are.
There are still too many things up in the air to even think of anything yet. I have no interest in daydreams, as you know.
But,
...I thought perhaps I might use mine for a different intention than initially planned.
Depending on those limitations.
To fix it.
I see what you mean.
... I have wondered what the limitations and extents on these wishes are.
There are still too many things up in the air to even think of anything yet. I have no interest in daydreams, as you know.
But,
...I thought perhaps I might use mine for a different intention than initially planned.
Depending on those limitations.
To fix it.
I'd like that.
I'm not sure whether I can use my wish to help you do that, seeing as I don't know what it is. According to Molly, it is only for one person. Which is a significant surprise to me, as I don't have any friends whatsoever who aren't already here? But if anything, I've learned the value of individual people here, so I suppose I can't be so quick to trade it.
I'm not sure whether I can use my wish to help you do that, seeing as I don't know what it is. According to Molly, it is only for one person. Which is a significant surprise to me, as I don't have any friends whatsoever who aren't already here? But if anything, I've learned the value of individual people here, so I suppose I can't be so quick to trade it.
Were I to do so, I wouldn't be able to come along on that daydreamed adventure of ours, I'm afraid.
Hold onto your wish, Harrow.
... Do you want to know what it is, now? After all of this time, now that achieving it is a more distinct possibility than it was?
Hold onto your wish, Harrow.
... Do you want to know what it is, now? After all of this time, now that achieving it is a more distinct possibility than it was?
Maybe it won't come to that. There may be another way.
I do and I don't. In some ways, this is more advantageous. I don't have an emotional attachment to it, or a fear of losing it. It's only abstract. Perhaps ordinarily I might also lack motivation to fight for it, but I don't, because there are other people whose wishes I want to see granted. The obvious, people who would be dead without it, and the less obvious. Daydreams and such.
But I'm so curious about it. Knowing me, I assumed all along it was either something extremely important - for my House, for the Empire - or honestly something a little iffy, like causing the apocalypse for a dead girl. Or both. I suppose I didn't think myself so ordinary as to be here just for something so small as someone else.
I do and I don't. In some ways, this is more advantageous. I don't have an emotional attachment to it, or a fear of losing it. It's only abstract. Perhaps ordinarily I might also lack motivation to fight for it, but I don't, because there are other people whose wishes I want to see granted. The obvious, people who would be dead without it, and the less obvious. Daydreams and such.
But I'm so curious about it. Knowing me, I assumed all along it was either something extremely important - for my House, for the Empire - or honestly something a little iffy, like causing the apocalypse for a dead girl. Or both. I suppose I didn't think myself so ordinary as to be here just for something so small as someone else.
Haha. I wouldn't call you ordinary by a long shot, no matter what you wished for. Considering the situation we've found ourselves in, that person must be quite special.
You've gotten me rather curious, too. It couldn't have to do with her, could it? The dead girl?
You've gotten me rather curious, too. It couldn't have to do with her, could it? The dead girl?
Not likely. The "dead girl" was a blithe reference to the corpse of an ancient enemy of God entombed forever behind the rock which must remain unrolled, which I have devoted my passions to.
[And Molly said he liked her wish and it seems unlikely he would have encouraged her forbidden corpse love?]
You can ask Mollymauk, as he claims to have figured it out. I don't mind, but when he tried to explain it to me it caused some sort of temporary mental breakdown.
[Or rather she got extremely sad and cried a lot for reasons she has no ability to understand.]
[And Molly said he liked her wish and it seems unlikely he would have encouraged her forbidden corpse love?]
You can ask Mollymauk, as he claims to have figured it out. I don't mind, but when he tried to explain it to me it caused some sort of temporary mental breakdown.
[Or rather she got extremely sad and cried a lot for reasons she has no ability to understand.]
[God. After trial she's just tired and she probably won't specifically seek Gu Yun out but just because she figures he will probably seek her out. So she's hanging in her room, probably.]
[She is probably messy, out of face paint, wearing her pajamas but you can't tell because they're also black and boring just like everything she wears.]
Come in.
Come in.
I don't mind. I'm just not up to parading around.
Gideon, yes.
[She still has the card tucked in her ribcage - bone and flesh.]
[She still has the card tucked in her ribcage - bone and flesh.]
. . . She was what was going on in my head.
[She touches her temple.]
I'm afraid I unintentionally misled you, when I talked about my being mad. I did have hallucinations when I was a child, but then they stopped. The rest is just. . . [Lol.]
She died for me, to give me the power to save my own life, and the manner of her death meant I was going to consume her soul. I made some alterations to my brain, so I wouldn't remember her. Everything else was a side effect from the damage, memories that weren't accurate because she wasn't in them, or fail safes meant to ensure no one undid the work.
[She touches her temple.]
I'm afraid I unintentionally misled you, when I talked about my being mad. I did have hallucinations when I was a child, but then they stopped. The rest is just. . . [Lol.]
She died for me, to give me the power to save my own life, and the manner of her death meant I was going to consume her soul. I made some alterations to my brain, so I wouldn't remember her. Everything else was a side effect from the damage, memories that weren't accurate because she wasn't in them, or fail safes meant to ensure no one undid the work.
[
this is why gu yun hates magic right here
he just kind of stares for a moment, processing that information, and then. sighs. heavily. ]
So it was self-inflicted, sort of. [ jesus christ. he reaches up to rub the space between his eyebrows for a second. ] I can't say that you doing something like that surprises me. Or, that someone would die to save your life, for that matter.
[ harrow is a good and he would probably do the same, but maybe without ] The sword was hers too, right? So... if our wishes are granted tomorrow, she'll be returned to life?
this is why gu yun hates magic right here
he just kind of stares for a moment, processing that information, and then. sighs. heavily. ]
So it was self-inflicted, sort of. [ jesus christ. he reaches up to rub the space between his eyebrows for a second. ] I can't say that you doing something like that surprises me. Or, that someone would die to save your life, for that matter.
[ harrow is a good and he would probably do the same, but maybe without ] The sword was hers too, right? So... if our wishes are granted tomorrow, she'll be returned to life?
Page 2 of 2