[She takes a deep breath, and then he'll get a small smile.]
Thank you, for attempting to understand despite my regrettable methods of displaying sentiment.
Last week, at curfew, I was quite - I was quite distraught. Someone I knew had been injured, and I feared I didn't know how one even ought to behave in that situation, so all I could do was behave monstrously. Stomp my foot and yell and behave like a child who has been refused a sweet.
Molly said something along the lines of - oh, it was a terrible mixed metaphor and I hated it, really - it all being a performance. Being good, being bad, being a person at all, all of it only a juggling act one must consciously put on until one has mastered it. But I think the far less tortured metaphor is one of training. That even knowing how to feel any sentiment and express it is one of practice, and study, and muscle memory.
If you and I happen to both be remedial students, perhaps we can share study notes from time to time.
[ 'regrettable methods of displaying sentiment' gets the corner of his mouth to twitch, like he's trying to hide a smile. harrow's right, because his methods are also pretty horrible; there's no response further than that, though, as some of the amusement fades out of his eyes.
...it's funny. gu yun's not really used to having people worry over him. he's never really given anyone a reason to - even when he was at his worst, most brutally injured, he'd strap himself into his iron armor and wear it like a cast, so he could continue to lead his armies. being the marquis of order is a title that comes with a mythical amount of reverence; his own name is something that his nation relies on. for an instant, gu yun has never shown weakness, except maybe to shen yi, and even then. so, harrow's simple remark (in her own, harrow way) of i was quite distraught quiets him. ]
...Between the three of us, we've made quite a mess, the past few weeks. [ he was worried too, even if he didn't show it, when harrow was injured. as they've gotten closer, it almost feels like a small mercy, for it to have happened so quickly - not that gu yun wasn't already irreparably fond of harrow, before.
the thought of losing either of them sticks, for a moment, in something fierce and unfamiliar in his chest, as harrow's finishing. he doesn't say anything to it, though, just finally turns his gaze away from the healing pod to look at harrow, instead. ]
I'd like that. [ gu yun says, eventually, and - he ends up smiling a little, too. not shitty and goofy, not trying to harass or tease. just a bit of genuine sentiment. ] The best... [ 'alliances'? no, that isn't right. ] ...The best friendships do seem to come about in those ways.
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[ at least, that's the kind of person gu yun is. he thinks harrow's cut from the same cloth. ] You'll figure it out. Of that I have no doubts.
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[She takes a deep breath, and then he'll get a small smile.]
Thank you, for attempting to understand despite my regrettable methods of displaying sentiment.
Last week, at curfew, I was quite - I was quite distraught. Someone I knew had been injured, and I feared I didn't know how one even ought to behave in that situation, so all I could do was behave monstrously. Stomp my foot and yell and behave like a child who has been refused a sweet.
Molly said something along the lines of - oh, it was a terrible mixed metaphor and I hated it, really - it all being a performance. Being good, being bad, being a person at all, all of it only a juggling act one must consciously put on until one has mastered it. But I think the far less tortured metaphor is one of training. That even knowing how to feel any sentiment and express it is one of practice, and study, and muscle memory.
If you and I happen to both be remedial students, perhaps we can share study notes from time to time.
no subject
...it's funny. gu yun's not really used to having people worry over him. he's never really given anyone a reason to - even when he was at his worst, most brutally injured, he'd strap himself into his iron armor and wear it like a cast, so he could continue to lead his armies. being the marquis of order is a title that comes with a mythical amount of reverence; his own name is something that his nation relies on. for an instant, gu yun has never shown weakness, except maybe to shen yi, and even then. so, harrow's simple remark (in her own, harrow way) of i was quite distraught quiets him. ]
...Between the three of us, we've made quite a mess, the past few weeks. [ he was worried too, even if he didn't show it, when harrow was injured. as they've gotten closer, it almost feels like a small mercy, for it to have happened so quickly - not that gu yun wasn't already irreparably fond of harrow, before.
the thought of losing either of them sticks, for a moment, in something fierce and unfamiliar in his chest, as harrow's finishing. he doesn't say anything to it, though, just finally turns his gaze away from the healing pod to look at harrow, instead. ]
I'd like that. [ gu yun says, eventually, and - he ends up smiling a little, too. not shitty and goofy, not trying to harass or tease. just a bit of genuine sentiment. ] The best... [ 'alliances'? no, that isn't right. ] ...The best friendships do seem to come about in those ways.